Back to the future... BrainStorm

(India Arie pays a visit to my inner sanctum and prepares to play "Ready for love" live)

I sit here, stranded, alone, unable to communicate with anyone or anything.
I wonder how I will survive to the next day...
After the battle, I was left for dead, wounded and close to death...
Somehow I managed to find shelter and nurse myself back to a state of mental and physical awareness.

I take to center stage in my mind.
Not as Jurmz, not as Andre, but as a gateway for my thoughts to express themselves through.
I tell myself, you are my universe, the sun, the moon, the sky, and I'm the stars that surround your greatness.
Watching your every move, as you rise and fall, everyday, every night, for eternity.
Is this love?...

Into my life you came....

When I think about you, my stomach hurts, my heart races, and thoughts accelerate at a million mph.
Colliding, combining, surviving, to form new ideas, daydreams, and premonitions.
What is this?
If I even speak your name, some sort of awkward shyness comes over me, and I begin to smile nervously....
I wish I could stop time, come and find you, and begin the endless cycle of telling you how I feel about you....
Yet, every time I reach for your embrace.....it all seems to be a illusion..
It feels like Im having open heart surgery and you're the surgeon. You have 3 choices, let me die, save my life, or step down and let someone more qualified handle the task.
Well...as you know, something as vital as a heart operation needs to be taken care of in a timely manner.
You were given the tools necessary to begin, and you turned your back on me...
As I lay there, motionless, staring into the lights above, unable to do anything but strangle my emotion till tears form and run down my face to escape the prison known as my eyes.
How can I love you?
I'll tell you how.....
Im a emcee, my profession is to master the art of communication through rhyming..
I'am a urban griot....
The thoughts in my head are similar to that boat of slaves in Amistad...
Packed in too tight, unable to breathe, or function normally due to the overwhelming amount of mental and physical stress.
You....you...you... You painted the perfect picture, with your various words, and mannerisms.
The best way to describe it is like you put your artwork on display under the description of real, and truth and it turns out that you sold a painting that wasnt authentic.
Everything falls apart when put to the test...
Blank moment.....

How can you say that I'am the one?!?
We are from different planets indeed....

Where I'am from, love grabs you in its arms and gazes deep into your soul and conforms to it. It holds your hand and tells you how it would rather be nowhere else but with you at that very moment. Love, wakes up every morning and tells you you're beautiful with no make up. Love lights candles and reads poems and songs that it spent writing about you allday while you were at work. Love does your chores even though you both agreed to split them evenly. Love is that irrational behavior that makes you yell at the top of your lungs in the middle of a public place how it feels about you. It calls or text you everyday to see how you're doing even though it knows you get annoyed. It waits on you even though it knows you're going to take all day because you want to look your best when it thought you looked your "best" before you started. It gives you massages because it knows you had a hard day and need to relax. Its laughs at all your jokes even when they arent funny. It listen to you talk about yourself, your friends, the people next door, and even your coworkers attentively even though its heard these things several times. It holds you close when you feel like no one else in the world cares about you. It makes you smile when it knows you're not in the mood. It tickles you when you're sick because laughter cures sickness. Do I even need to continue...I think not..Love is all that you think you know...

Where you're from, love keeps to itself, love is alone. Love likes to portray like its everything its counterpart is but it is not. It is reckless. Its self absorbed. It lies. It has no emotion whatsoever which is why I can understand how It flirts so carelessly. Never taking anyone else's feelings into consideration. The only thing that matters is its survival. It preys on the weakness and flaws of others only for self benefit. It mocks love from my planet. It spends most of its time attempting to replicate love through reinvention or redesigning only to fail miserably.

Real moment...
No one's perfect
Im a asshole, yes, but thats a defense mechanism.
I dont know what this earth has in store for me...
But what I do know is that you're not it...
Its proven that something loved too much can also become something hated indefinitely...

I blame myself. I made a mistake by crossing over into your love and trying to bring you back into mine.
This is a battle I cannot win. I admit defeat, and will retreat.
You are the victor...
And here are your spoils of war...
My death....


They say the best way to predict the future is to create it..
I still believe you are my future..
But in a desperate attempt to save my soul......

I will turn my Back To The Future......