Long Distance Relationships...

First topic message reminder :

I just want to hear your take on the issue. Personally I think they can work if both parties are dedicated and want it to work. I just got out of a 3 year long distance relation. It had it's challenges.

I mean I didnt mind hearing his problems b/c it was always the same problem. He wanted to hear "baby it will be ok" instead of us trying to come up with a solution or me suggesting he gets a second job. He doesnt go to work until 3pm. He has more than enough time to pick up a second job. To me it seems like thats what he wants to do for the rest of his life. I graduate in Dec. Aug 2010, i WILL be attending someones law school and I will not be in the state of FL. That's something I want and I'm not second guessing it. It will happen for me. If he can't come see me in FL, He forsure isnt getting on a plane to come see me in another state. The next guy I'm with doesnt have to have it all together but atleast have a goal in live and the drive to obtain that goal. that's it. I have goals, and I strive for excellence.

It's cool, you got my life as well. lol

But as for him, he makes 500 a week, so you can't save like 20-30 dollars a week? yea, OK.

Yeah...I hear you.....You have to put in egual effort to make a relationship work...and thats just not fair for you....

btnhmami9803 wrote:I mean I didnt mind hearing his problems b/c it was always the same problem. He wanted to hear "baby it will be ok" instead of us trying to come up with a solution or me suggesting he gets a second job. He doesnt go to work until 3pm. He has more than enough time to pick up a second job. To me it seems like thats what he wants to do for the rest of his life. I graduate in Dec. Aug 2010, i WILL be attending someones law school and I will not be in the state of FL. That's something I want and I'm not second guessing it. It will happen for me. If he can't come see me in FL, He forsure isnt getting on a plane to come see me in another state. The next guy I'm with doesnt have to have it all together but atleast have a goal in live and the drive to obtain that goal. that's it. I have goals, and I strive for excellence.

It's cool, you got my life as well. lol

But as for him, he makes 500 a week, so you can't save like 20-30 dollars a week? yea, OK.

I see. Hes one of those people who get comfortable with doing something a certain way and dont want to change. Live your life. Get that law degree!!!!! Im sure you know what you want in life. Go get it!!! If the one you love is not willing to travel with you to get where both of you need to go. Job, or life wise. Then someone needs to get left behind. Time is the one thing that we cant save. As for that saving situation....yea...you called BS and its evident. His ass need to keep it real. That "I pay bills" excuse aint cutting it if he still able to live day to day comfortably 20-30 a week isnt hard.

But if the certain way you're doing things isnt working and it gets to the point where it's damaging, then what you know. But I can't expect everyone to be as open minded as myself but by being so close minded and ignorant to the issues it's damaging as well. Whatever, I will do something great with my life and when I go home 5 years from now, I'm sure he'll be doing the same shit.

One of his excuses for not wanting to move was "he doesnt want to take a pay cut"

btnhmami9803 wrote:One of his excuses for not wanting to move was "he doesnt want to take a pay cut"

The signs are obvious unfortunately. As long as you make enough to pay rent, bills, and eat, then nothing else should matter as far as pay cuts unless they will conflict if he does. Have you told him any of how you feel?

Oh yea he knew every well how I felt, we were together for 3 years. Another thing, the communication wasnt there. It's like everytime it came to talking about serious stuff it was either, he "doesnt want to talk about this shit right now," or it was "his day off and he doesnt want to talk about this shit right now," or he just got off or work/just going to work and doesnt want to talk about it right now. As long as he was supressing the problems we had it was ok, but when it came to talking it almost always ended with me crying. B/c it's frustrating trying to get through to a person like that.

Then when I tell him the issues I was having, I'm making it all about me and he's the only one that has to change yet he never expressed his feelings or the problems he had b/c "he wasnt raised that way." So idk. I hope he finds someone on his level that can deal with that. b/c It was too much emotional stress for me. I'm too far away from home, and out of my comfort zone to be going through that. I have A's to maintain.

btnhmami9803 wrote:Oh yea he knew every well how I felt, we were together for 3 years. Another thing, the communication wasnt there. It's like everytime it came to talking about serious stuff it was either, he "doesnt want to talk about this shit right now," or it was "his day off and he doesnt want to talk about this shit right now," or he just got off or work/just going to work and doesnt want to talk about it right now. As long as he was supressing the problems we had it was ok, but when it came to talking it almost always ended with me crying. B/c it's frustrating trying to get through to a person like that.

Then when I tell him the issues I was having, I'm making it all about me and he's the only one that has to change yet he never expressed his feelings or the problems he had b/c "he wasnt raised that way." So idk. I hope he finds someone on his level that can deal with that. b/c It was too much emotional stress for me. I'm too far away from home, and out of my comfort zone to be going through that. I have A's to maintain.

A's are most important right now!!! COMMUNICATION!!! OMG, you've found out today's power word!! Tell her what shes won bob!!!.... lol Suppression of expression leads to depression which halts all progression...lol Sorry..Im a little bit silly today. I too know what its like to be frustrated with less emotional people. All you can do is express yourself and if that doesnt get you anywhere, its a lost cause in my opinion. And I hate when you tell someone how you feel and the manage to turn it into a "its all about you" conversation... GRRRRR....

Atleast, someone feels where I'm coming from. Then he has the nerve to say I seem alot happier now that were not together, DUH. I'm not crying and stressing every day.

But if only one person is expression their feeling, of course it's going to be "all about me" if Im the only one talking and you have to much pride or whatever to tell me whats up.

wow that was deepn at jurmz but btnhmami9803 yea its long but we fly back n forth every weekend sometimes its longer so it coo.. good luck on ur long distance relation ship...

Good Luck to you and yours also.

Ah man, had 1 of dese, no comments, dat all i have 2 say.

No why comment? lol. Go ahead tell us how you feel about long distance.

Yeah, come on!!! TELL US!!! LOL

I think that they're possible; they're just not for me.

Long distance for me is across town; seriously. I like my quality time. I'm a physical presence person. I hear the pros to a long distance joint, and I'm not knocking the choices people make. What I'm saying is: it's not for me.

I want you close enough to touch, far enough away to miss you. That's my preference.

Intoxicating wrote:I think that they're possible; they're just not for me.

Long distance for me is across town; seriously. I like my quality time. I'm a physical presence person. I hear the pros to a long distance joint, and I'm not knocking the choices people make. What I'm saying is: it's not for me.

I want you close enough to touch, far enough away to miss you. That's my preference.

Aw. I would rather have someone physically there. Long dis just takes work.

btnhmami9803 wrote:Aw. I would rather have someone physically there. Long dis just takes work.

My short distance relationships take work. I can only imagine how much MORE work I'd have to put in. lol

Intoxicating wrote:

btnhmami9803 wrote:Aw. I would rather have someone physically there. Long dis just takes work.

My short distance relationships take work. I can only imagine how much MORE work I'd have to put in. lol

True. But determination is key.

btnhmami9803 wrote:

Intoxicating wrote:

btnhmami9803 wrote:Aw. I would rather have someone physically there. Long dis just takes work.

My short distance relationships take work. I can only imagine how much MORE work I'd have to put in. lol

True. But determination is key.

Oh. IN that case, I'm determined to not have a long distance relationship. I need by regular belly rubs, and I like to cuddle way too much to have her far away.

Intoxicating wrote:

btnhmami9803 wrote:

Intoxicating wrote:

btnhmami9803 wrote:Aw. I would rather have someone physically there. Long dis just takes work.

My short distance relationships take work. I can only imagine how much MORE work I'd have to put in. lol

True. But determination is key.

Oh. IN that case, I'm determined to not have a long distance relationship. I need by regular belly rubs, and I like to cuddle way too much to have her far away.

I love cuddling. LMAO @ Belly rubs like you're talking about a puppy.

btnhmami9803 wrote:

Intoxicating wrote:

btnhmami9803 wrote:

Intoxicating wrote:

btnhmami9803 wrote:Aw. I would rather have someone physically there. Long dis just takes work.

My short distance relationships take work. I can only imagine how much MORE work I'd have to put in. lol

True. But determination is key.

Oh. IN that case, I'm determined to not have a long distance relationship. I need by regular belly rubs, and I like to cuddle way too much to have her far away.

I love cuddling. LMAO @ Belly rubs like you're talking about a puppy.

I'm easy. Feed me, play with me, pet me when I'm good - I'll be just as loyal. lol But really, a good belly or back rub will put me to sleep. lol

Aw. Still Sounding more and more like a puppy. lol dead @ belly rubs.

ahaahahahaahahaahah!!!!!

btnhmami9803 wrote:Aw. Still Sounding more and more like a puppy. lol dead @ belly rubs.

Yeah well...call it what you want, just RUB MY BELLY! lmao

LMFAO!!!! woof woof!!!!!!